Okay a few weeks ago I wrote about having lost my focus during a womens bible study which I attended.

Well here I thought, geesh why couldn’t I focus, I wanted to be there.  I even prayed as I forced myself to get out of the car, Lord I am here for you, I want to learn and be closer to you.  Please open my heart and let me hear from you.  Then I get in there excited a bunch of older women surround the room, not just my age but women I could learn from who have experienced life beyond me. As the study went on I lost focus, couldnt believe it was dragging on and started wondering when they would wrap up.  I was like God why do I feel this way.  I want to be here, I was ansy.  Couldnt sit stll.

Then we broke into small groups, I thought oh prayer time and over.  Nope, We went through it all again for another hour. Crazy I thought.

So when we broke and left, I called out God I don’t understand I wanted to be there.  Why do I lose my focus like that, why can’t I get into it, what am I missing.  I talked with Ron over it and thought to journal here to see if any of you have had this happen before.

Let me tell you what’s happened since.  I haven’t stopped thinking about the items we went over.  All that is in my mind are topics we discussed during that study.  Acts, where Paul was in jail and awakened by an angel and set free. How our words, the careless words will be judged, every one of them.  Think before we speak.  Prayer, how cleansing it is for our spirit and our lives. I think on these things daily.  When my kids say something or I stop to think before saying something useless, even Ron speaks… I watch our words and remind all of us about the carelessness that is used. Its crazy.

I remind them if you can’t say something nice or gossip, which is talking about someone to another in which they can’t help the situation then its gossip.  I am guilty of this with my sisters.  They talk about one another and just because we are family doesnt make it right.  Vent to God, vent to your spouse when your going into prayer time as a prayer request.  Journal to God…

So did I lose focus, I did in the flesh.  Spiritually I believe I was alive and learning from what was being said around me.  It wasn’t truly a lost cause.  I thank God that I had an open heart to hear his word that day and it has continued to remind me to ask for his strength and for him to speak to me when I attend fellowship anywhere.

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